THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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We have not commented on Salman Rushdie's knighthood to date figuring it's the province of cheap politicos. Several pundits are saying he got it after a concerted effort by the left to prove we can live in peace and harmony and what-all. Some have other plans. That said Rushdie's getting this alleged honor (even more alleged given the speed and plenitude with which The World's Oldest Adolescent has dispensed it) for PC reasons, and clearly he doesn't deserve it because The Satanic Verses was nothing if not a provocation on the holy cockroaches, and people died as a result, though the rioting was prompted by the basest demagogues; worse, now the "civilized world" must defend the values of a man who may not have them outside of taunting people who may deserve to be taunted. That headline, with its painful double meaning, says it all.