Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, June 06, 2007

    Posted 9:35 AM by Gene

    These news idiots are so scared of SLIME (because He's "conservative") they're coming up with all sorts of hare-brained schemes to outsmart Him -- and "hare" in this case is a compliment. Now Stale.com's JERNALISM PERFESSER DOCTOWH SHAFUH proposes that the Footsie hire lots of the Journals' staff and leave a rotting hulk behind! Yes, I'm sure it would take on dozens of new reporters. And if all those reporters leave doesn't that give SLIME a chance to hire His evil hacks -- precisely what cranially-challenged hand-wringers like DOCTOWH SHAFUH are hiding under their mahogany desks about?

    And just how idiotic is the DOCTOWH?

    If "Personal Technology" columnist Walt Mossberg agreed to join the walk to the FT, Murdoch would blow a ventricle and a bladder. Of course, Mossberg would have to take a 50 percent pay cut, which would bring him down to about $500,000, if The New Yorker's report of his compensation can be believed.

    I'm sure he would -- just to be free from the Force of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL.

    This guy makes Gomer Pyle look smart -- and at least he was a good guy.

    (Via -- who else -- Romy, who has a case of coffee nerves without the coffee)

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