Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, July 22, 2007

    Posted 7:00 PM by Gene

    Here is Exhibit A in the case for putting the news business out of business. We doubt that most of the "facts" here can be independently verified, which didn't stop some cretinous ASSPress publicist from selling them: 8.3 million in 24 hours, "300,000 copies in sales per hour -- more than 50,000 a minute" -- the dimwitted ASSPressian was so hot to merchandise this he/she/it got his/her/its math wrong (and thankfully spread the error all over the Web). Surely there are stories somewhere the ASSPress could pay more attention to, stories of necessity, stories that don't insult our intelligence -- heck this same ASSPress came out with a report on eating disorders among older women, and if it's another tiresome service doohickey at least it might help somebody. This helps nobody but the ROWLING-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.

    A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to the ASSPRESS and its ANONYMOUS MORON!

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