Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, July 08, 2007

    Posted 9:13 AM by Gene

    This 1,089-WORD piece of -- diddlysquat made the FRONT PAGE of today's Daily Babbitt -- er, the StinkyInky -- er....

    The folks at 20th Century Fox are holding a contest to finally resolve a mystery that has perplexed TV viewers for nearly two decades:

    Where does Homer Simpson live?

    In Springfield. Right. But which one? About 55 are scattered from Maine to California.

    More puzzling: Why is Fox wasting its time?

    Because SLIME knows you INFERNAL FRAUDULENT HACKS WILL WASTE OURS.

    A HEAVILY IRONIC NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to JEFF!

    And because this made the FRONT PAGE with 25,000 Pennsylvania state employees about to be furloughed, the owner of the Daily Babbitt -- er, the StinkyInky -- er, is among the finalists for the NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD!

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