THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Who needs celebrities to put on a celebrity-driven talk show? Not Chelsea Handler, whose producers must spend all day surfing gossip blogs and looking at viral video so this husky-voiced comedienne and her three F-list panelists of the day can spend eight or so minutes chatting about the latest Hollywood weirdness. Roseanne Barr urinating? Blogging while drunk? Britney Spears' latest "uh-oh"? All get their moments in the spotlight on "Chelsea Lately" in a freewheeling roundup that breezily moves from topic to topic to topic. You have time to catch your breath only when the show breaks for a few words from the sponsors.
Who are "Hotels.com, Cold Stone Creamery, Nike, Subway and Suave"!
Where's P'n'G and the Clunker Brothers?