Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Monday, August 06, 2007

    Posted 6:50 AM by Gene

    Opening Sentence of the Week:

    Don Imus has a cockroach’s knack for survival.

    Uh, how apt. Skipping to page 4 (which should prove how over-written many features are, especially in ADAM!!!!!'s newly resurrected award-winning masterpiece) we learn he has zillions of high-mucky-muck friends rooting for him to come back (and no doubt he and they helped engineer this -- article), and we've no doubt cockroach COULD (and probably will) come back, along with his preening coterie of skunk-smelling sycophants -- but there's always a chance he mightn't, leaving him with his settlement with SUMNER, and his alcoholic memories.

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