Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Thursday, August 16, 2007

Posted 8:06 AM by Gene

A seventy-something or eighty-something colyumnist pines and sighs for Drunken Slob, his mornings being empty without the cheap insults and expensive male sluts, and so he begins a one-man letter writing campaign to get him back on the air, begging, pleading to hear about nappy-headed -- well, things people don't ordinarily say in polite conversation, even going so far to admit that a HIP! HOT! rag likened his hero to a cockroach.

Look guy, if you want a job with Slob, just print the resume in Forbeslist. We're sure Little Malcolm would extend you this favor. Heck He gave you this platform, didn't He? Although come to think of it that's what you did.

I do believe we have a contender for the worst column to run in recent memory, even though it isn't an op-ed.

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