Eugene David<br>...The One-Minute Pundit

Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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2/9/03 - 2/16/03

2/2/03 - 2/9/03

1/26/03 - 2/2/03

1/19/03 - 1/26/03

1/12/03 - 1/19/03

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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Saturday, September 01, 2007

Posted 8:57 PM by Gene

JonBoy peforms a cover juggling act: In our edition it's Sen. Law 'n' Order, presumably because he's been in show-biz, and that might make him a good president. In the Asian edition it's a story on some Bollywood producer that begins like this:

Ronnie Screwvala is the front runner in the race to become Bollywood's Jack Warner.... [Emphasis added]

That's the thing about newsrag editors: they spend all day flattering people. In the Europe and Latin American editions it's a story on the Sarko craze called "The End of Anti-Americanism", and we can see why it wouldn't appear here -- it never ended in The Newsrag of the Zeitgeist.

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