Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Friday, September 21, 2007

    Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

    Thinking of Lee the Patriot got me to devise a dual definition of patriotism:

    For the conservative: I LOVE this country -- and anyone who doesn't should be SHOT!

    For the liberal: Um, uh, well, I guess it's okay, but I'd rather be in Switzerland.

    Ah'm PRAYOUD t'BEEEE a CAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYN! AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYN!

    UPDATE on 10/4 at 7:20 p.m.: When you've posted over 25,000 times you tend not to notice when you repeat yourself. Oh well, I still say it's a good definition.

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