Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

"WE HAVE NUMBERS TODAY THAT NOBODY COULD EVER HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT, INCLUDING ME!!" Selig says. "OUR ATTENDANCE!! OUR LOCAL TV RATINGS!!! OUR NATIONAL RATINGS!!!! THE AMOUNT OF INTEREST IS LEGENDARY!!!!! THIS BUSINESS IS HITTING ON ALL CYLINDERS!!!!!!!!!!" [Legendary overemphasis added]

When USAOKAY!!!!! sells something, look out for your wallet. It is hard to believe there isn't a proverbial fly in the ointment somewhere -- the fact that, for all its LEGENDARY success, baseball has become a regional sport, like hockey, only with money; the fact that most of the playoff games will be only on cable, which the press agents will insist is no drawback; the fact that, through this LEGENDARY season, only BARRY* could elicit any national interest, and that of a distinctively negative kind (and his home run* chase* didn't even draw an audience). No, when USAOKAY!!!!! uses 1,969 WORDS (including stats and sidebar) to SELL something, look out for your wallet -- and your checking and savings accounts, your stocks, bonds, your money-market funds, and your real estate.

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to NIGHTY NIGHTENGALE!

(Corrected 10/4 at 9:20 a.m. to reflect all the LEGENDARY playoff games running on cable.)