Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

    Blogroll Me!

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    Sunday, November 11, 2007

    Posted 1:10 PM by Gene

    Such keyboard testing as this is appalling. It reminds us that CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) controls America's news flow; we don't want to guess how much Web news is from the ASSPress or inspired by it. It further reminds us you needn't be very bright (and definitely not cultured) to type news copy; indeed scribble like "points to 1969's Easy Rider as the turning point" says you needn't be a writer either. Of course the news biz isn't about writing; faced with such drool however we'd be hard pressed to say just what it is about. This typist seems to believe Celine Dion is a great singer and that the history of popular song began 38 years ago. Obviously she knows little about movies or music or movie music, but CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) needs his quota, and so does USAOKAY!!!!!.com, and so without any noticeable adult supervision the typist produced 1,455 words of ignorance, proving further her bosses are the creme de la creme thereof.

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