Eugene David<br>...The One-Minute Pundit

Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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2/1/04 - 2/8/04

1/25/04 - 2/1/04

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1/11/04 - 1/18/04

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12/28/03 - 1/4/04

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11/2/03 - 11/9/03

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9/28/03 - 10/5/03

9/21/03 - 9/28/03

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8/31/03 - 9/7/03

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8/3/03 - 8/10/03

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6/1/03 - 6/8/03

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5/4/03 - 5/11/03

4/27/03 - 5/4/03

4/20/03 - 4/27/03

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3/2/03 - 3/9/03

2/23/03 - 3/2/03

2/16/03 - 2/23/03

2/9/03 - 2/16/03

2/2/03 - 2/9/03

1/26/03 - 2/2/03

1/19/03 - 1/26/03

1/12/03 - 1/19/03

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Thursday, November 01, 2007

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

When we learned BUGMEISTER and ST. WARREN had pooled Their assets for eternal press releases, we knew something fishy was up -- namely, the thought that They could CURE the world's maladies. This, of course, is hubris, and evidently Their hubris is being tested in Africa, where no amount of money seems to stop AIDS. It is preposterous to think science can't stop it -- after all, science is on the verge of making a lot of utopian nightmares possible -- but then again GUVMENT should have comprehensively disproved the idea of wealth as panacea, and maybe AIDS needs something a little less complicated than vaccines -- like teaching teenagers not to sleep together, for starters.

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