Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, February 04, 2008

    Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

    And in more irritating news about THE CURE FOR CANCER, it took all day to get these blithering hacks to admit this MASTERWORK wasn't THE HIGHEST RATED CURE OF ALL TIME -- and then Mike of its PR MEGAPHONE writes the equivalent of a DISCLAIMER:

    The game also drew 97.5 million viewers — the most-ever for a Super Bowl — topping the previous record set by Dallas-Pittsburgh on NBC in 1996. Viewership gains for events can partially just reflect the continual growth in the U.S. population. [Emphasis added]

    TRANSLATION: Nielsen and its flacks can only massage the numbers so much before reader anger kicks in.

    NOW LET'S FORGET ABOUT IT UNTIL THE NEXT CURE.

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