Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, March 02, 2008

    Posted 2:06 PM by Gene

    THIS IS A WARNING: ShoWest, the movie excretion biz' biggest chance to congratulate itself this side the falling Os-CARS®, is happening next week in Vegas, and among the subjects on the docket are:

    “The Insurance Market is Changing”

    As well it might be; you don't know when angry moviegoers might finally decide to torch a few popcorn restaurants.

    “Cinema Marketing - Driving Loyalty and Frequency”

    We can start by upping the number of commercials before the extrusion, that'll be a help. God knows ethanol will help up the price of the popcorn. Grungier establishments would also work.

    “Hot Topics in HR”

    How did this biz get so BORING?

    “Is That Your Credit Card Interchange Fee in Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?”

    We REPEAT....

    “The Collective Wisdom of Movies: Seeing the Forest
    Through the Trees”
    Data compiled by Nielsen PreView™
    What happens when you gather 400 movies across
    two years, across all genres, across all consumer
    media? Collective wisdom.

    TRANSLATION: THE MOVIE EXCRETION BIZ IS NOW USING MORE FOCUS GROUPS TO MAKE MORE EXCRETIONS -- PERIOD.

    AND:

    Presentation of the USA TODAY/ Coca-Cola Consumer
    Choice Award for Favorite Movie of 2007 to “The
    Bourne Ultimatum” as voted on by the readers of     USA
    Today

    Which means the WHOLE SHOW-BIZ PR STAFF of OKAY!!!!! WILL BE THERE PLUGGING AWAY!!!!!

    No mention of the public-outreach TRIUMPH of last week. Oh, and no mention of JACK'S SECRET-BOTULISM-RECIPE ALPHABET SOUP either; we've solved that problem forever and ever.

    By the way, attendance appears to be heading down to EVEN after another great weekend, and declining. GOOD!

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