Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Wednesday, April 30, 2008

    Posted 12:52 PM by Gene

    Just now at my neighborhood Mickey D's, here comes FunTimes -- "Celebrating Earth Day in April!" Well, better late than never we say, especially with the suggestions on how to be ecologically correct on the back cover -- like "reuse grocery bags"! And "bring a garbage-free lunch to school"! We won't comment on the latter except to say in fairness to the Mick we recall the clamshells, so Ronny has done better -- although we wonder how much better since He now serves eat-in food in bags.

    We may also ask how much better when we see this conveniently hidden away from the content, above and to the right of the legalese:

    Printed in Canada on recycled paper.

    Now how much more energy did it take to send a recycled FunTimes from Canada then it might have taken to print it here? Or is North America's Most PC Country™ so environmentally correct that nothing we could do could use less energy than Canada?

    God knows Ronnie loves shooting Himself in the foot; must remind Him of those delicious McDonald's hamburgers.

    EEEEEEEEEEEEvery day should be Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeearth Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

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