Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, May 26, 2008

    Posted 11:00 AM by Gene

    Every two or three months a hack, to convince us that yes, his breed can think, types another piece saying The Lord Goddess Oprah's "declining". We've seen these declines before, and every time She thought up a new scheme, and Her name bounced back more cloyingly mawkishly inescapable than before. Well, we can convince ourselves that when She finally does vanish from the public record in, oh, thirty years, it will be complete and irreversible, with only the memories of JAMES FREY and THE COUCH JUMPER to remind us of what a cultural lead weight She was.

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