Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Posted 9:06 AM by Gene

Wait wait WAIT a second, guys -- wasn't it just a few weeks ago that we ran an advertorial for PILLHEAD? It must have occasioned a lot of the proverbial wailing and gnashing of teeth in the Kingdom of PINCHDOM, because now we're back with beet-red faces as to how to overcome this force of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL, and the answer is -- BLACK (?!?) RADIO!

Meaning, of course, we're still looking for that white kn -- er, our savio -- oh dammit, a HERO -- wait, isn't that sexist? Anyway, a FRIEND to save us from the greatest scourge since the Black -- er, since POLIO or whatever, and we'll still be looking in another five years.

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