Posted 10:05 AM by Gene

Jo-NAH's favorite restaurants are decorating their tables with promos -- nothing wrong with that -- but I couldn't help noticing the curious inscription around the circumference:

MCDMNU/08 Spicy Chicken Ops Atlanta dining zone--table cling--phase 3

Count on the Mick to call his seating areas "dining zones". But what got me was the "phase 3." A reason outfits like Moon 'n' Stars are so intransigent is that they think of their "ops" as war zones, engaging in mortal combat to gain that extra share point from the enemy. "Phase 3" made me think of how many thousands of reports this promo's generated, how many middle-manager martinets are humorlessly blundering about the office in Atlanta or wherever to get every last drop of money they can from Chick-Fil-A and KFC and being so caught up in the fog of war they can't see their customers. What with its Bank of America problems the Mick was surely so panicky self-absorbed yesterday the staff must have acted like a McChicken with its head cut off. I would expect no less from such a wonderful organization.

I further thought of "Phase 3" as a mother and child were seated nearby, and the child was playing with an SFX-laden R2D2 toy, no doubt obtained through the Mick's fantastically successful tie-in for a fantastically successful movie. And as the little kid played the SFX I thought LUKE SPIELBERG must have had hours of tantrums getting exactly the right sound into the toy, hectoring untold subordinates and suppliers, even as said SFX went into something made in CHINA from God-knows-what. Mickey D's and LUKE are a marriage made in a galaxy that cannot be a long enough time ago or far enough away.