Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Monday, September 29, 2008

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

Now, I think would be a good time to make a list of when I stopped fully believing certain colyumnists. I know it's human nature to give people the benefit of the doubt, but most of these eructators have done it for so long as to be impervious to criticism, as their ever increasing salaries attest. So here's the list:

Bob Novak: When I saw him on The McLaughlin Group.

Eleanor Clift: When I saw her on The McLaughlin Group.

George "MB2" Will: When he called Bruce Springsteen a conservative.

Ellen Goodman: When she marked Richard Rodgers's death by saying the Beatles were better.

Frank Rich: When he raved Dreamgirls.

Charles Krauthammer: When he raved Castor Oil.

David "SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX" Broder: When I first saw him posit there was some lovely time when politics weren't so partisan.

John "The Liberally-Biased Libertarian" Stossel: When I noticed he was a spokespoop for the Cato Institute.

Jo-NAH Goldberg: When he called Mickey D's God's gift to man.

Joe "Anonymous" Klein: When he went into fiction, which I date around the summer of '92.

Michael Kinsley: When he started editing Harper's.

More to come.

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