Posted 1:20 PM by Gene

The NEW CW™ helpfully provides us a list of The Lord's Acolytes in His cabinet, and while chances are this list is eighty percent wrong it is still discouraging to see all these retreads. Some of the names are most interesting: the old hyperliberal Abner Mikva as an "outside counsel"; the Internet's Inventor as a pontificator on climate change and Ambassador to Make People Like America Again; Linda Douglass as press secretary (Bias? What bias?); a Citigroup executive and Messiah follower as White house economic adviser; Eric Holder as CHIEF DEFENDER OF ABOR...CHIEF QUOTAMEI...er, attorney general (Pardons pay!); the 70-year-old former Citigroup exec Bob Rubin or the 81-year-old Paul Volcker in Treasury; YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!! as head of HHS (because he was a doctor; but then so was Marcus Welby); GEORGE MILLER!!!!! as education secretary; Susan Collins as Der Homeland boss (one less Republican senator! ha ha ha! Oh wait -- doesn't she vote with OUR side?); Max "I AM TOO A PATRIOT!" Cleland as head of VD -- I mean Veterans Affairs; likewise Tammy Duckworth, who qualifies because of Iraq and the evil war we will end in two months; Jane Harman in CIA or as Director of National Intelligence, just to prove we CAN be tough; Jesse Jackson (Jr.) in HUD (!!!!!); Terminator as Energy Secretary, where presumably he can waste money too, or Earl "Bicycle" Blumenauer; Dick Gephardt in Labor ('RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!); William Bratton as drug "czar", from which post he will resign when the word "legalization" starts popping up. There are other Republicans but if we had to guess the only likely ones are Lincoln "Mush" Chafee in EPA and Tom Kean in Education, where they will be happily out of the way.