Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, November 09, 2008

    Posted 10:50 AM by Gene

    TRANSLATION: News hacks will wage every effort to make our new president into a God. His MORTAL ENEMIES like PILLHEAD will wage every effort to make themselves into ASSES.

    The OBAMA RECESSION is in FULL SWING, ladies and gentlemen! Stocks are DYING, which is a precursor of THINGS TO COME! This is an OBAMA RECESSION! Might turn into a DEPRESSION!

    Ever since SOME people elected THEIR DEMOCRAT LEFTIST PRESIDENT stocks have gone in the TOILET because INVESTORS, the BACKBONE OF THE REPUBLIC, have REALIZED the SOCIALIST SCHEMES THIS DEMOCRAT president and HIS Congress will enact, like the CARD-CHECK BILL, and limits on EXECUTIVE PAY, and the FAIRNESS DOCTRINE, ANNNNNNNNNNNND....

    Okay, no peeking: which is PILLHEAD and which is YOURS TRULY?

    By the way, is it possible to find a spin-free, statistically accurate count of the PILL's audience? That would seem highly unlikely, though -- what with ARBITRON.

    P. S. at 9:52 p. m. Last year PEJ said PILL's 2006 weekly number was 13.5 million, but IT got the number from Talkers -- which got it from ARBITRON, which relies heavily on unreliable DIARIES.

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