Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, February 01, 2009

    Posted 3:28 PM by Gene



    100 million U.S. football fans WILL watch televised duel between Cards quarterback Kurt Warner and Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger.... [Carnac home-page overemphasis added]

    How do you know? How do you know the SUPER BORE can't be subject to the force of gravity that hit the World Series, the Os-CARS®, NASCAR®, and the Miss America Pageant?

    Okay, maybe 100 million will watch -- I just wouldn't BET on it.

    (I must come up with a good line from the envelope.)

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