THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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I don't know, WHISKEY WUSSY -- you almost seem to want to give up your job!
GO FOR IT!
CDL AT FOURTEEN CENTS.
I have a better number, though: The combined age of Geraldo, Imus and Cavett is just over 206. I guess that explains "OLDTHINK".
P. S. Ol' Bourbon Fumes claims to have given up the sauce 21 years ago, but we suspect more than once in the presence of friendly press agents like JEFF "MENSA" GREENFIELD he'd say he did his best "work" drunk. He certainly said this:
"Some people don't deserve to be picked on, who I picked on -- so I don't do it anymore."
Some basketball players at Rutgers thoroughly disproved this. And the obverse is true -- witness DR. EVIL. And as we all know, once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic -- so he shall always be an honorary drunk to me.