THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Well, maybe. Or maybe he was always angry and his anger found an excuse. Or maybe, since the holy cockroaches always yak about whom they call their "God", dear old "God" waited until he was out of Gitmo to tell him to do his deed. The Daily Kaplan is the sister rag of the NEW! IMPROVED!! ECONO - NEW YO - ATLAN - ZEITGEIST, which has told us for years why we're on the brink of catastrophe in IraqAfghaniPakistan, and told us so often we couldn't believe it, which is not why it's drastically shrinking its circ and becoming another magazine.