Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Thursday, April 02, 2009

    Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

    Oooooooops! It appears that common sense has come -- however briefly and quaintly, to the HAULS UV HYER LURNING. In academe's scheme of things PR0N is almost as sacred as Islam, strange in that of course nearly every YOUNUHVERSUHTEEE worth its exorbitant tuition has a WOMYN'S STUHDEES DEPAHRTMEANT, and that by rights should trump pr0n; but because free expression means STICK IT TO CONSERVATIVES in those SAYKRUD EYEVEE HAULS...well, you get the message. That it takes legislators to teach one SKOOL a lesson means lots of people in HYER LURNING have ADD -- mostly toward the parents, and the taxpayers.

    Although you'd think a STAYT YOUNUHVERSUHTEE could screen PR0N with impunity -- after all, aren't taxpayers but turnips ready to be squeezed, and parents but clients ready to be shaken down?

    (Via Chronicle.com)

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