THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it.
Several weeks ago WFMU posted a Johnny Carson "blooper" and I was ticked. Well, tonight I surfed through YouTube and found this Carnac routine -- from 1974 it says here -- and I must confess, stupid as the jokes are, I laughed. Note the comments: one says, "Carnac appearances were usually the only part of the show that I bothered to watch!", which rather implies it might be the only part of his repertoire that still stands up; and another says, "It's interesting how you can see Johnny's subtle annoyance with Ed." I'm sorry, Johnny did not like Ed. I guess when he thinks of Johnny Ed feels wistful.
And after finishing it I felt sad. Who remotely commands a fraction of his audience? And what audience is there for what's left of his comedy, however amusing? (It did not help my mood to watch what is allegedly Johnny's final TV appearance, on Letterman.) But I did laugh.