Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Thursday, April 09, 2009

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Passion plays have gone into full Cecil B. DeMille-fake mode, complete with a considerable dose of Grand Guignol -- in short, they've gone tacky show-biz -- but the writer is too much the GRATE.COM gentle ironist to attack, although he hints at one good reason for it in his last graf, when he says all this money for theatrical blood might better be spent on "throw[ing] a dinner...and invit[ing] the poor, the crippled, the blind, the lame." Though a little GRATE.COM cleverly worded it would serve a useful purpose, which so much of religious observance doesn't.

Patton Dodd is a doctoral candidate in religion and literature at Boston University and author of My Faith So Far: A Story of Conversion and Confusion.

Can't KAPLAN, INC.'s teacher's pet find writers who are older than 35?

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