THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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We were wondering when the hacks would start with this. Certainly we were overdue for a lecture on a problem that would not be solved but by Bunsen Honeydews, and at the total destruction of our society. One doesn't wish to minimize the problem but we read stories daily of innocent people run down by drunk drivers, and their numbers must far outweigh the people killed by psychos. The hacks are nothing though without their desire for total control, which (as we've repeated ad nauseum) does NOT explain newspaper stocks under $1.
Indeed Kevin is so GUNG-HO he types this:
Since 1976, an average of 18 mass fatal shootings have occurred yearly in the USA, killing nearly 3,000 people....
Since you meant 3,000 total why didn't you use the word -- or were you trying to exaggerate? And how many were domestic disputes that went out of control? And how many happened in ghetto neighborhoods which are exempt from our concerns? And what about before 1976?
Guys, will you PLEASE go back to SHOW-BIZ ADVERTORIALS? It's the ONLY thing you do well. A special NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD (Political Division) to KEVIN!