Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Wednesday, June 03, 2009

    Posted 1:38 PM by Gene

    REAL-TOR LAUGH OF THE DAY TWO: On my way to and from work I pass a super-expensive high-rise condo called the RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRITZ CARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLTON open three months that's maybe a twentieth occupied. Closer to home is an old office building once called Lewis Tower, now the AAAAAAAAAAARIAAAAAAAAAAA, which is possibly a tenth occupied; natch its developer went bust. Now the idiots who built another condo called the MUUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAANNNNNNO that's a third occupied are holding a "fire-sale" auction. Scarcely three years ago the StinkyInky told us with glee that eight hundred new condo towers were going up and our Center City population would grow to half a million. Who knew the marketplace would develop fangs? Anyone who saw the problem with building eight hundred new condo towers.

    We do have an idea of what to do with all that condo space: sell it to New Yawkers! Pfffffffffffffffffffffffft!

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