Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Saturday, August 15, 2009

    Posted 7:30 PM by Gene

    Take THAT, Little Malcolm! JonBoy has invented THE SMART LIST -- a new supercharged version of the LISTICLE, forcing you to click twenty or thirty or fifty times to get at the point. We thought at first from the home-page squib the point was to stick some of our PC in a pile where the turni -- readers wouldn't want to take the time to notice ("ET is almost certainly out there. Bipartisanship is bad. And the environment has never been better"), but the result is such an overwhelming muddle as to make us think JonBoy did it just for the sake of being "new", which may not even impress whatever readers he's leaving behind.

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