Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Friday, September 11, 2009

    Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

    More patented GRATE.COM iconoclasm: The Web won't "tear apart" the KOLLEDGE-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX, because 1. It's too intertwined with GUVMENT, and GUVMENT and KOLLEDGES want their shakedowns first; 2. You can't say you went to HAHVAHD if you only went there on the Web; 3. KOLLEDGES, like auto dealers, will keep their monopoly positions because of legal mumbo-jumbo like accreditations and certifications and all that jazz, and if the nationalization of GM and Chrysler couldn't destroy the pact between state legisla-TORS and auto dealers how can we hope for different with KOLLEDGES?; 4. You can't create physicians online; 5. MIT has had Web courses for several years; how many degrees has that inspired? and 6. How many football and basketball teams does Yahoo! run? God knows this ossified system of PC, supersmart denseness and sports corruption must be torn up from the roots; the Web may, at best, snip off a few dead branches.

    Moreover our iconoclast speaks of the "new" kolledge as an aggregator, meaning this isn't serious.

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