THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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I'VE SAT straight-faced through so many sitcom pilots in recent seasons that I'd begun to think it was me.
Am I just comedy-challenged?
Is there something wrong with someone who can't find the funny in, say, CBS' "Rules of Engagement" or Fox's " 'Til Death"?
Oh, sure, my critic credentials are relatively solid: I love "The Office" and "30 Rock" and "How I Met Your Mother," and I beat the drum as loudly as anyone for the late, great "Arrested Development."
Yet even those shows' best episodes often leave me laughing more on the inside than the outside.
We wonder -- how does one laugh on the inside?
We think we know how -- because any time an ad-blurbist writes like this we scream on the outside.