THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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This might be the cue to relaunch our "PLAYER ARRESTED" gag.
AS IN:
Arizona State senior cornerback Terell Carr has been arrested on suspicion of three misdemeanors and booked into a Maricopa County jail.
OR:
UW Badgers football player Maurice Moore was arrested early Sunday for operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated, according to a Madison Police Department incident report.
OR:
A University of Minnesota football player was arrested late Sunday and charged with obstructing the legal process and minor consumption of alcohol.
The possibilites are ENDLESS.