THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Or to put our fantastical Super Bore another way, if it happened in another nation we'd likely say, "Who cares"? We hate posting pictures for people looking for PR0N, but we doubt if anyone on this side of the Atlantic knows who this comely lass is, yet she is in the sad middle of a British near-equivalent of the TGSM mess. Given no one here knows who this comely lass is reminds us that very few Americans care for soc -- FOOTBALL, just as very few Brits care for foo -- AMERICAN football, which should tell us both sports are oblivious time wasters in their own ways, which should further tell us any nation that can waste so much time vacuuming out its brains deserves to be the banana republic it's in danger of becoming -- and yes, we speak for BOTH nations.