THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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You just have to like the Constitution. I love it.
What he really means is:
WHY DID THE FOUNDERS EVER WRITE THE FIRST AMENDMENT? NO CONSERVATIVE OR CHRISTIAN OR OTHER NAZI SHOULD HAVE RIGHTS!! THE FIRST AMENDMENT IS FOR FREEDOM OF SPEECH, AND NO PERSON WHO HOLDS THE EVIL NOTIONS OF CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN NAZIS SHOULD EVER BE GRANTED ONE IOTA OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!
THANK GOD FOR THE FIRST AMENDMENT -- AND THANK GOD FOR JEFF BEWKES FOR GIVING ME MY RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!
We will only say further that the TWXSTERS' newsrag is no longer PEOPLE INC.'s flagship, and judging from what we saw of it today at Barnes & Noble most weeks it must come perilously close to running NO ADS.