THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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IN CASE AFTER CASE AFTER CASE, THE ROBERTS COURT HAS PUT NOT JUST A THUMB, BUT A FIST, ON THE SCALE IN FAVOR OF CORPORATIONS -- (pause for comedic effect) -- A FIST WITH BRASS KNUCKLES!!!!!!!!!! [Comedic overemphasis added]
"He's still very sensitive to the fact that there's a stereotype out there of Angry Al," says his dear, dear, DEAR friend NORM C. W. ORNSTEIN.
We too hope Angry Al steps "out of his shell" -- so he can put his newly emerged foot in his mouth.