Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Tuesday, October 12, 2010

    Posted 5:23 PM by Gene

    You know you're in the infant's-wear department of the nooz biz when the proprietor uses words like SHOCKING!!!!!!!!!! Listen HENRY HONEST!!!!!, whatever that fairy-godmother voice that whispers into the Street's ears told you we weren't born yesterday, and corruption in sports dates back to well before Joe couldn't say it ain't so. How does a biz with so many lepers, be they steroid poppers or serial electronic flashers, inspire such meaningless twaddle in the guy?

    Oh, but we forget -- he applied his meaningless twaddle to AMAZON.COM.

    P. S. Any story with 7,774 WORDS will inspire a coma before it inspires outrage, however credible.

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