Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, November 21, 2010

    Posted 11:44 AM by Gene

    "I'VE GOT TWO PAYCHECKS LEFT AND AFTER THAT I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE NEXT ONE'S COMING FROM!!!!!!!!!!" [Incipient-poverty overemphasis added]

    Hey Harold, why don't you have a fundraiser on your show?

    Imagine some working stiff who's just been laid off saying this and you can see what a royal horse's behind Horace is.

    Ignore this; I misread it -- I thought it was HERMAN gassing on the air; it's just one of His producers. That doesn't make Hyman less of a horse's you-know-what, nor am I less apt to think Herbert WOULDN'T say something like that.

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