Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Posted 6:13 PM by Gene

Finally -- and I meant to post this earlier, and I mean it in all seriousness -- you wonder if recent events haven't moved the Bunsen Honeydews of DoD to invent robotic Supermen to fly to the rescue, or portable force fields at rallies that would deflect bullets. We would remind our five readers of our post of three years back that pointed to the use of nanotube fibers to deflect bullets. As we said then, perhaps the Honeydews could "devise a means of implanting or grafting or cloning or whatever this material in humans, making bulletproof cops -- and ultimately bulletproof people.

"I'm excited too!!!!! -- at all the bullets that would fly."

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