...The One-Minute Pundit
Friday, January 21, 2011
KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH!
GEN. BEWKES is marching for Georgia. Or Moscow. Or maybe He's part of the death march of Bataan. But He IS MARCHING ON. Though His army be plagued with defectors -- AOL, PEOPLE WARNER CABLE, unprofitable magazines -- He and the stragglers left of it, braving the elements in nothing but their expensive Italian suits, treading on weary feet cushioned only by Guccis, with no solace but the rallying cry of billions and zillions, headed toward the day when they can scalp every last customer of every last dime for the BRILLIANT AMAZING programming and movies His corps distributes to sullen peons at rest stops. The world NEEDS GEN. BEWKES' army; it needs these solemn warriors, fighting on for the name of the higher calling of CRITICAL ACCLAIM, ready to BOMB their way if necessary to TOTAL VICTORY until no one is left but these forces of right, surrounded by the burnt hulks of enemy companies and the dead bodies of MILLIONS OF CUSTOMERS -- but at last...TRIUMPHANT!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to LT. COL. BRADY and CPL. RABIL!