Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Wednesday, January 12, 2011

    Posted 1:15 PM by Gene

    We've found the source of those HUGE PROFITS!!!!! The Atlantic's boasting about: evidently lots of readers like wading through 5,609 WORDS to discover the obvious -- that modern KOLLEDGES (and especially DU-KIE UNIVERSITEEEEEEE!!!!!) may not be good for a young woman's mental health. (We wonder given that THE DU-KIES!!!!! bequeathed the world STANLEY "PE-EW!" FISH and a LACROSSE "RAPE" if it's good for anyone's mental health.) On days like these we'd almost prefer to read MR. MELLERDRAMMER cry, or throw a partisan tantrum.

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