Posted 7:24 PM by Gene

We should know better than to post a picture like this, but we're thinking, instead of just a face and a figure, what if Cheryl were also a brilliantly talented chanteuse and actress and potential dancing partner for a Fred, with a soupçon of Garlandian wit to boot? And what if this weren't the MEGAPLATINUM AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT the Gang of 27 always says it is? What if George and Ira were busy pecking away at piano and typewriter writing masterworks for her like "He Loves and She Loves" and "They All Laughed"? Or Dick and Larry dedicating "My Romance" or "Falling in Love with Love" for her edification only? Or Schwartz and Dietz with "Dancing in the Dark"? Or Warren and Gordon with "You'll Never Know"? What if Arthur Freed or Pandro Berman or Darryl F. Zanuck were plotting spectaculars for her -- in TECHNICOLOR!? What if she fronted Harry James with "I Can't Begin to Tell You", or Glenn Miller with "I Know Why", or Benny Goodman with "Why Don't You Do Right?" Or Les Brown with "Sentimental Journey"! Alas, we know better -- she can't sing, and very likely she can't act, and most likely any attempt at comedy will be unintentional, and she exceptionally likely thinks LADY YOU-KNOW-WHO's a GENIUS, and she works for SLIME, which pretty well guarantees she's a pretty no-talent. Hey, but we can dream, can't we?

Better not.

P. S. Then again, if it takes endless practice just to be one of those adenoidal whiners on the Billboard 200 the Gershwins would be impossible.