Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

Friday, May 06, 2011


WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! Sharon says WE MUST follow THESE BRILLIANT TWEETING COMEDIANS!!!!!

SARAH SILVERMAN!!!!!: I just found out that embedding feces deep into the roots of a shag rug is on my dog's Bucket List.

PATTON OSWALT!!!!!: I disagree with Werner Herzog declaring a "Holy War" on yoga, but would love to watch him wage it.

JONAH HILL!!!!!: It's so awkward running into my ex-girlfriend. It's come to the point where I find myself avoiding sitting in my car outside of her house.

SETH "YUM!" MacFARLANE!!!!!: Now that we've seen his birth certificate, I want to see proof that President Obama is black.

BILLY "OSCAR®!!!!!" CRYSTAL!!!!!
: Filed my taxes today, can't believe there's still a deficit.

JIMMY FALLON!!!!!: A shelter put a dog named Twitter up for adoption. While their dog, MySpace, was “taken to a farm to run & play forever.”

ERIC SEVAREID!!!!!: If anyone in President Donald Trump's cabinet isn't pulling their weight, he won't hesitate to say, "You are the weakest link, goodbye!"

SHANA ALEXANDER!!!!!: [SUMNER insiders will get THAT joke.] I just saw a guy get his nutz banged in a movie! I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE! Please do that joke ALL THE TIME Hollywood! Ha ha ha.

WAIT!! What do you mean the club's closing? We just got started!

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