THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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1. "STEVE MARTIN IS REALLY OILED AND BUFF. OMG, my Twitter account was just hacked." - Steve Martin
2. "Weiner-gate is teaching me a few things..if a pic posted of my weener on web looks big: i posted it, if its small, my account was hacked." -David Spade
3. "Just my luck! On the same day I find out it's bad to tweet dirty pictures, FedEx shows up w/ all that penis make-up I ordered!" - Andy Richter
4. "Tattoo it on your chest, MEMENTO-style, Weiner: 'The Internet is forever."" -Patton Oswalt
5. "Anthony Weiner skipped the Israel Day Parade. It's ok--he's already supported Israel by showing everyone that he's Jewish. #weinergate" -Joy Behar
6. "To all my followers: I"m sorry I lied, that was not a photo of me in my tighty-whities." -Chad Lowe
7. "Your turn, Blake Lively. It's okay. You won't have to resign from The Green Lantern." -Watch What Happens Live! writer Caissie St. Onge
8. "BREAKING: Rep. Anthony Weiner admits the Twitter pics are his. He also said, 'When I took the pics it was really really cold." -Late Show with David Letterman head writer/executive producer Justin Stangel
9. "A historic day for trivial Twitter fame. Charlie Sheen has called Anthony Weiner to offer his concession." -Arianna Huffington
10. "Can I just say that based on current events the stories for Scandal practically write themselves right now?" - Shonda Rhimes
If these were the ten best WHAT WERE THE...oh, never mind.