THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Let's see: 887,624 divided by 2,600 hours a year (assuming a fifty-hour work week and no time off) equals 341 people doing all this paperwork. 341 people divided by the thirty-five megabanks covered means ten people per megabank are slaving under this bone-crushing regulation, people who'd probably be doing something else legalistically stupid. One can surely concoct why federal regulation of banks is dysfunctional -- need we be told? -- but by reducing all such regulation to bean-counting this sounds like a con-SER-va-tive argument, and it has the double advantage of sounding wrong, even if it's statistically right.