Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Posted 9:00 AM by Gene

USAOKAY!!!!!, America's Leading Public Relations Outlet, auditions a new member for the Gang of 27! It seems they let him boast that PEOPLE WARNER's DC COMICS division (not the movie studio) will renumber all its comics' volume numbers -- starting with number one! Now we all know why: Mr. BEWKES figures No. 900 suggests METHUSELAH. But BRIAN, trying mightily hard for that spot in the Gang of 27, runs TWO STORIES to make sure we get His spin...word!



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK MONTH! AWARD TO BRIAN -- AND CONGRATULATIONS FOR MAKING THE NATION'S ALL-STAR PR TEAM!

P. S. at 5:45 p. m. We saw the print edition and OKAY!!!!! sold it BIG-TIME on the front page!

P. P. S. on 6/2/2011 at 11:18 a.m. The Bible says Methuselah lived to be 969! We don't want any comics older than Methuselah!

(Story via LALA)

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