Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Friday, October 10, 2003

    Posted 6:57 AM by Gene

    IF YOU'RE HAPPY 'N' YOU KNOW IT WRITE A PUN! (TYPE! TYPE-TYPE!)
    IF YOU'RE HAPPY 'N' YOU KNOW IT WRITE A PUN! (TYPE! TYPE-TYPE!)

    As I've said before, you KNOW the show-biz flacks and copywriters are VERY happy when they start with their puns. They think it's CREATIVE. FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News caught a lot of heat for its all-too-brief ban on Ah-NULT puns, but it was understandably reacting perhaps to this something in the back of its collective head about the ever-more-mindlessly conformist behavior of news hacks. Reuters already gave us that BITE OUT OF MIRAGE. And REALLY, Freedom Fighter Fighter's Friends, I'M SICK OF PR AS IT IS.

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