Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Saturday, May 15, 2004

    Posted 6:31 PM by Gene

    Today in my local A & P (pardon, SuperFresh -- A & P sounds so OLDSMOBILE) a voice among the crappy tunes blurted, "CONAGRA's becoming AMERICA'S FAVORITE FOOD COMPANY!" Which reminded me of a ditty I sing to myself every now and then:

    Who put the CON in the AGRA?
    Buh doo doom!
    CONNNNN-AAAAAAAAA-GRA!
    BOOM!

    It also, as the mention of the name sometimes does, reminded me of SOYLENT GREEN.

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