THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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There's no sense coming up with silly arguments to explain how this isn't really the most successful documentary of all time. It is. Deal with it.
...and STERNO:
AS YAHWEH [Oops –- he wrote Stern. --Ed.] SAYS, THE POST DOESN'T LIKE YAHWEH!!!!! [Had to do that for consistency. --Ed.] WHEN THIS LATEST FCC JIHAD BEGAN, I PROPOSED WRITING AN OP-ED FOR THE POST!!!!! THEY WOULDN'T TAKE IT!!!!! THEY DON'T LIKE YAHWEH [Sorry. --Ed.] AND NOW THAT HE'S ANTI-BUSH, THEY ESPECIALLY DON'T LIKE HIM!!!!!!!!!!
1. I don't know how many times RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s tabloid Charmin has flacked for STERNO'S GOD, inflating his audience and sex life; it's beyond count. 2. STERNO doesn't like anything less than total reverence toward his deity. Saying this lower-case lower-depths messiah will determine the election IS "nonsense." DEAL WITH IT, STERNO.