THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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If we had to track down the times ad-blurbists have made asses of themselves we would never stop tracking. Of course Effete Edelstein stumbles out of the gate by admitting he was spoon-fed the info by "LIAR! LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE!" BROCK. But then PILLHEAD was on to something, "BLACKMAIL!!!!!" or no; ad-blurbing IS just another form of masturbation, especially when it's practiced by people who've spent their whole careers looking for the ultimate IN. Such scribblers are the last people to write about morals -- even IF they move ROMY to righteous fury. Or to use Jo-NAH's two-left-footed analogy, that PILLHEAD is a KETTLE does not make EFFETE any less of a POT.
Moreover he hasn't done DICK any favors by giving us something ELSE to remember him by.
We now must pay attention to Effete's BLOG every day; it promises to be an eternal wellspring of COMEDY. We also suspect PILLHEAD may embellish his writing with some SOUND EFFECTS. Not very EINSTEINIAN, Effete.